Critiques

Aisha

First Time Using the Internet:

You described your first experiences and how the Internet has changed as you grew up and how you use it now, which really makes this a strong article. I know a lot of people can relate to the whole MySpace thing, and always being on the computer. It really got me thinking about how much I was on the computer at that age, and it makes me sick!!!

There are a number of grammatical/punctuation errors in your article. This is one of my pet peeves so it’s hard for me not to point that out. Another thing I would change is the layout of your article; it would have been easier to read if it was separated into several paragraphs. Other than that, you made a lot of strong points.

Some of your best remarks were when you mentioned, “That’s when a computer became a habit instead of leisure.” I couldn’t agree more with that, ever since a young age I would just go on my computer and log onto the Internet by default, like it was part of my daily routine.

I have to say that I disagree with limiting yourself to one social network. I don’t know what your major is, but mine is public relations and knowing and engaging with social networking sites is huge. If our generation doesn’t know how to use all types of social media, it might be looked down upon depending on the field of work you want to pursue. I totally agree with your reasoning though, wanting more human interaction. But at this day in age, that’s like saying you want world peace.

Web 2.0:

The first part of your article was very accurate in describing Web 2.0 in your own words. I think you have a good grasp on what Web 2.0 is and have good points to make but the way your points are presented could be better. You were naming a lot of the same things about Web 2.0, like how people can interact now- it might have made the article stronger if you elaborated more on this. 

The second part that was to be written in a journalistic, objective style also had a lot of good points that could have been elaborated on. Instead of just putting the link to the articles the way you did, it would be better if you referenced to these articles and explained what they said. At some points in this part, the writing was a big subjective, like when you wrote “The more the user can engage on the site, the more successful it is” This could be true, but you provided no facts to relate back to that which makes it seem like an opinion. 

You seem to understand Web 2.0 and provided interesting articles, it just needed a little bit more elaboration and detail.

Video Reviews

You did a lot of things right for this blog post:
1. You had a good opening paragraph to lead the reader into what you’re going to talk about and why.
2. You provided links to each video you critiqued. This is helpful to the reader to understand what you’re talking about, or in my case to refresh my memory...
3. …BUT I didn’t need to refresh my memory; because you described each video in great detail which helped me to remember the video you’re describing- without re-watching it.
4. You offered constructive criticism; you gave your opinions and then talked about what they could have done differently to improve. I liked how for the cooking video you critiqued; you said you watched the video once with audio, and once without. That shows you really judged the videos thoroughly and thoughtfully.

Something that I believe makes all blogs more appealing are images. Even though you provided the links, a screen capture of a part of the video is a good idea to show the reader what you’re talking about.
Lastly, a closing statement/paragraph/sentence is essential for any piece of writing to wrap up your thoughts.
However, this was one of your best blogs that I’ve read!

Social Media

Although I agree with everything you said, regarding any positive/negative effects of social media, I thought the format of your post could be better. It would help the reader if there were a clear opening, body, and conclusion paragraph. The body could have been split up into two different paragraphs, one for the positive effects and the other for the negative effects. In the beginning of your piece, I felt like a lot of your sentences didn’t flow. You just listed off a bunch of things and ended the sentence and moved on, you didn’t really explain anything until the end of your post. You have a lot of good information but it’s just hard to read the actual post itself because of how it’s presented. One sentence stated, “Today’s society is pushing a rising brand of digital society, which is being achieved through social sites.” To me, I have to re-read this sentence to understand what you’re trying to say, and it doesn’t help that you have nothing written after that to explain what you meant. These are all easy fixes that will make your posts a lot better than they already are! 

Matt

First Time Using the Internet:

Your article about your first experiences with the Internet has a lot of relatable and strong points to it. Before I get into that, it’s important to note a few minor details:

1. The font size was really small and hard to read, especially the first paragraph- which is in black font- I had to highlight it to read it. Obviously, this is an easy fix but if I didn’t have to read this article, I wouldn’t because of the way it stands out.
2. (I’m glad I did read the article though.) Another minor detail, I really appreciate the breaking up of paragraphs in your article. As with anything on the Internet, this makes it easy to read.

But onto some notable points within the article, everyone our age can always relate to MySpace and the Top 8, which is good to include in any opinionated article, to keep the reader interested.

The part where you said you were amazed by the possibilities to create yourself on your own page is a really great point. Until someone actually sits down and thinks about these sort of things, I don’t think anyone actually realizes that we have created/re-created ourselves on the Internet.

You were on point when you briefly mentioned how a picture of you doing a keg stand can get you fired from a job, it’s crazy how much the world has changed because of the Internet!

All in all, this was an easy and enjoyable read but also very relatable at the same time, which is a good mix when writing a blog.

Web 2.0:

I like how you took the route to explain Web 2.0 and what it’s done, rather than explain what it is. You make a lot of good and accurate points about Web 2.0, but it would have been easier to read if all of your points were broken down into bullet points. You have a great writing style, it’s very intelligent. 

In the second part of the article for the journalistic/objective piece on Web 2.0, you provided 3 different links to articles but never referred to them. When I see a sentence written, ex.) Social media has aloud anyone to talk other people anywhere there is a computer and internet.  

The term ‘social media’ has a link connected to it, but you never mention what the link is to. If I am reading this article, there is nothing that makes me want to click that and read more.

Aside from that, I like how you related Web 2.0 and social media to companies. The business aspect of social media is an important point to make because a lot of people don’t realize social networks can be used for such things other than to post pictures and update your Facebook status.  

Video Reviews:

For this particular post in discussing 3 different videos, I was confused. It would have made more sense if there were:
1. An opening paragraph detailing what you’re talking about, what a self-portrait video is, etc.
2. You should have provided either a link or a visual of the actual video you were discussing. I wasn’t sure which videos you were critiquing and I wasn’t going to go back to the original blog post with all of the videos to find it.
3. Proofread. I noticed a lot of typos and sentence fragments.
4. Since you didn’t provide a link to the video, it would have helped to describe your opinions in more detail. Instead, I felt like I was reading off a list of your dislikes/likes, without any detail or explanation.
5. Instead of ending your post with the last critique, a few sentences at the end summarizing your post would have been good.

Besides that, you seem to have strong opinions on each video, with necessary points to make. Instead of listing the likes/dislikes, you could have listed what the person could have done better or different to make their video stronger.

Social Media

I enjoyed this blog post because I agree with everything you have to say, with the positive and negative effects of social media. I thought it was good that you provided the link to the articles, but I don’t think you should have written “I have to come up with a short summary” – I think you could have taken this out or switched the wording around, because even though it was our homework assignment I don’t think the audience needs to know you “have” to write this.
You made a lot of great points about the positive effects of social media and you pointed out it’s prominence within the past decade. I like how you talked about its effects on intercultural communication, and how social media has allowed people to start looking at stereotypes and cultures in a new light. That’s something I’ve never thought about before, as I’m sure a lot of people wouldn’t.
When you talked about the negative affects, I like how you focused on human psyche. Most people might say social media makes people lazy and have less people-skills, but you talked about depression- which is very true, and sometimes overlooked.
Overall you had a strong piece equip with an opening, body and closing paragraph. 

FaceCrack

In wrapping up a Facebook project for class, I read a few articles entailing Facebook, and social media in general. The concept that tied each of these articles together was: creating yourself via the Internet. 

For our Facebook project, we were to create 5 different Facebook pages. (Pages for either a business, a public figure, a product, an organization, etc.) However, my professor insisted that we create these pages within a new/separate personal account than the one we might already have.

When we join Facebook, we have the ability to portray ourself any which way we'd like to. We have the chance to let our 'friends' get to know the "real" you... (depending on your definition of real.) I think this is why we were instructed to start from scratch with our Facebook account for this project. Instead of using the personality we already built of ourselves on our real accounts, we had the chance to create ourselves in a way we want our classmates and professors to see us.

The articles I read explained that not everyone is the same when it comes to using Facebook.

Some people entertain and embrace the idea of putting personal information on the web; Instead of being concerned with the privacy of their content, they're more focused on projecting a certain image of themselves. 

On the contrary, some people experience feelings of discomfort knowing that their lives, and everyone else's lives are so accessible.

As a college student, I see the people of my generation all the time posting inappropriate things on the Internet. 

Including and not limited to:

• Underage drinking
• Binge drinking
• Drug use
• Promiscuity 
• ETC. 

I know, I know- Freedom of Speech. Well, remember that kid in grade school who got detention for saying the 'F' word in the middle of class, and proceeded to explain the first amendment in his defense? "FREEDOM OF SPEECH!!" Yeah, that doesn't work in that case. With mostly anything, there are a set of rules or guidelines to abide by. These rules might be written, or they might be an unwritten set of norms. In grade school, those rules were probably written in some student handbook or displayed in a class room: "NO PROFANITY."

With social media, there isn't a set of rules to abide by; but it shouldn't be a total free for all. There are certain rules of etiquette...

etiquette |ˈetikit; -ˌket|nounthe customary code of polite behavior in society or among members of a particular profession or group. 

But as we already know, everyone has their own opinion on what is right or wrong, what is polite or rude. As with anything, I try to instill my personal values with everything I do.

KATIE SWAINE'S RULES OF ETIQUETCY ON SOCIAL MEDIA:

-Be honest. Don't fabricate any stories about yourself or anyone else

-Be original. Don't copy and paste things and play them off as your own!! Not cool.

-Respect yourself. No one will ever respect you if you can't even respect yourself.

-TREAT PEOPLE THE WAY YOU WANT TO BE TREATED. Duh.

It's important to me to follow these guidelines because I wouldn't feel right if I didn't. However, I'm definitely not perfect and I AM guilty of bashing some people on Twitter. It makes people laugh! (Unless you're the punchline...) A really awkward situation happened last semester, I tweeted about these 2 girls in my class in a negative-ish way. Just kind of made fun of how annoying they are. Anyway, somehow someway, they saw my tweet and figured out it was about them. They then continued to mention it to their friend of a friend of my friend, (no really) and the word had gotten back to me that they think I'm a ~bitch~.  After I cried to myself for a week for being called the 'B' word, (just kidding) for our group project in that class, one of them was in my group.. We never spoke of it, but we both knew. Awkward.

I am a long time Facebook user, and I don't intentionally try to convey any sort of personality. I get pretty paranoid when it comes to posting personal information about myself on Facebook, or any social networking site. My Facebook is private (I think..I hope) but as Facebook continues to evolve, I feel less and less 'private'. I just feel like if someone really wanted to, they could gain access to your information. 

As much as I hardly even use Facebook anymore, sadly, it's not that easy to just not have one. I've tried it!! ....and forgot about 5 of my friends' birthdays, missed out on event invitations in the process, didn't know my friend and her boyfriend broke up.... You get the point.

I deleted my Facebook in the first place because it's so damn distracting. Instead of writing a paper I'll go on Facebook "for a minute" and end up getting instant messaged by one of my friends that I don't see anymore because they live in Europe now. 

But, those friends are also part of the reasons why I end up reactivating my Facebook. 

My Facebook is activated for social reasons- 

• Birthdays. Sad but true. There needs to be a way I can get all my friends' birthdays on the calendar in my iPhone so I don't forget anyone....
• Long lost friends.
• Keeping up to date with friends who are making sure their Facebook friends are keeping up to date with them.
• Events.

Friend: "Hey Katie, are you coming to my birthday party tomorrow?" 
Me: "What birthday party? Was my invite lost in the mail?"
Friend: "I sent it out to everyone on Facebook!"

Love it or hate it, I feel as if I have no choice but to be on Facebook these days.

PS: I entitled this post "FaceCrack" because that's what my Aunt calls it because it's so addicting. And she's old, so it's funny. FaceCrack. LOL.

"A million dollars isn't cool. You know what's cool?"

"A billion dollars."

-The Social Network

FACEBOOK HAS BECOME A MULTI-BILLION DOLLAR SOCIAL NETWORKING INDUSTRY GIANT, WITH OVER 900 MILLION USERS.

If you saw the movie “The Social Network”, you have a good idea of how far Facebook has come since 2003.

It started off in Mark Zuckerberg’s Harvard dorm as a game called, ‘Facemash’ and then the dramatic name change from: The Facebook- to just Facebook.

I've been on Facebook since 2007, and it seems like it changes everyday. We never used to have the 'stalking abilities' that we have today. What do I mean by that? Well-

Example:

YOUR NEWSFEED: 

[Your friend from work] wrote "I MISS YOU" on [her sister's boyfriend's brother's friend's mom's (aka someone you're not friends with)] wall. 

[Your second cousin, twice removed] is going to [an event half way around the world] hosted by [some French guy].

'Stalking Abilities': The stuff we can see our 'friends' doing on Facebook- even if we aren't friends with the person they're said to be interacting with.
(i.e. WHY do YOU need to see that your friend from work is missing her her sister's boyfriend's brother's friend's mom?!)
Let's face it, Facebook continues to outdo itself in the 'privacy' (or lack there of) department. It's not all bad though. Consider it from a crazy ex-girlfriend's point of view... She can see everything!!!-
Ok maybe let's just consider this from an organization's or company's point of view,

EXAMPLE:

Your company- Tony Walker & Company (Local business, Williamsville, New York)

First step: Create fan page
Second step: Get people to 'like' it! (Employees, invite patrons, advertise in-store, etc.) Once people start liking your page, that will show up in THEIR friends' newsfeeds. "Sally Walker and 2 other friends like Tony Walker & Co." This will lead to more 'likes' on your page, and increased visibility of your company.
Third step: *MOST IMPORTANT* Keep up with your page!!! Update as much as possible about upcoming events. Interact with your fans. Post pictures, videos.
If you simply create a page, get your 'likes', and fail to update it- people are going to forget about you, and you won't increase your Facebook fan base. 

Taken from the Tony Walker & Company's Facebook Page

Like I said before,

FACEBOOK HAS BECOME A MULTI-BILLION DOLLAR SOCIAL NETWORKING INDUSTRY GIANT, WITH OVER 900 MILLION USERS.

It's extremely important to communicate through social media. 
INVITE people to events that they might not otherwise know about unless they're a regular customer.
REMIND them of your services.
ENCOURAGE them to take action.

Best of all- Facebook is free.

www.facebook.com

Self-Expressions on Self-Portraits

A self-portrait video is one's effort to express themselves visually; whether it be showing how a person got to be where they are today, or creating visuals on a value they strongly hold. In the most simplest of self-portrait videos, it pieces together different things that make-up a person's lifestyle.

I viewed 15 different self-portrait videos, and there were only a handful of videos that stood out and grabbed my attention. 

THE REALLY GOOD:

One of my favorite videos was done by a student named Alicia Scott, titled, "About Me-Revisited." This student illustrated 'a day in the life'... literally. 

Watch video on YouTube.com

While watching each video, I jotted down a few initial thoughts:

"VERY COOL!!" ... "LITERAL & METAPHORICAL"

Not only was this video very "cool" and unique, it was also literal and metaphorical. It was literal in the fact that it showed her daily routine, ending up at her iMac computer using different programs (Adobe InDesign, Adobe After Effects); yet metaphorical because she used her actual illustrations- which show that drawing and animating are an important part of her life. 

"VERY ARTISTIC"

What made the visuals even stronger was how the student used her [real] hands to interact with the animations. The video had good quality, good music and kept my attention.

"SHORT, SWEET & TO THE POINT"

This student clearly put a lot of time and effort into her video. Though I would enjoy more to this video, it's length is just one minute but easily got right down to the core of her lifestyle. To me, if you can get someone to know you in a minute without using any words, that's a job well done.

THE GOOD:

Another video that made my top favorites was made by James Barany.  The video, titled, My Most Important Self-Portrait takes the audience into his this man's head to understand his weight struggle. 

Watch video on YouTube.com

My Initial Thoughts:

Alright so maybe titling this video, "the FAT guy", on my notes isn't the most politically-correct or nicest thing. My apologies! Anyways....

POSITIVES:

Throughout the video, plays a voice-over of the man's thoughts; which are also cleverly animated on the chalkboard behind him. In my opinion, the chalkboard animations brought the video together for me, it grabbed my attention and kept it. Not to mention, without these words moving around in the background, our eyes would have to feast on the image of a clearly depressed, morbidly-obese man- not very visually-stimulating!

 The voice-over could have been removed from the video, and the video would still get its point across- BUT the voice-over adds to the overall mood of the video. The man's voice is very agitated, and depressed, which is fitting for theme of this black and white video.

NEGATIVES:

The video is seven minutes long, and after the first few minutes it started feeling redundant. There were 2 separate parts of the video where the chalkboard showed the fluctuations of the man's weight in numbers, as he stood up and turned around showing his body. When this was showed the second time, I thought I was watching the same thing. This could have been showed all at once and maybe cut down on the total length of the video. 

Despite the negatives, I thought this video was inspiring. After watching, you start to really feel for this guy and his struggle (hence my regrets of calling him 'the fat guy').

....AND THE NOT-SO-GOOD:

One video, titled, "Fragments" by Emily Esperanza, really caught my attention, in a bad way. If I had to sum this video up in a single word it would be: Awkward.

Watch video on YouTube.com
My Initial Thoughts:


The fact that there was no audio in this video (until the ending credits) was one of the biggest flaws. I was too distracted by the static-like noise to even know what was happening in the video, so I re-watched it... But I still didn't understand. The images/video clips playing in the background were of bad quality, and I'm not positive what exactly these images were. The message of this video wasn't clear to me at all.
The only recurring theme I saw in the video was women. There was a woman, perhaps the same woman who made the video, standing and doing poses the whole time. (And you could hear her movements because there was no background audio... awkward). Maybe it's just me, but I could not gather an idea of a central topic or message with any of the images of women that were used.
To make this video better, this person should have...
-Used some sort of background music throughout entire video or voice-over
-Had better quality visuals
-Made use of text to help viewers get some sort of an idea of a theme

It's not easy to create these self-portrait videos because you can't be too obvious with your theme but you also can't get too metaphorical with it, where you are the only one who understands it. All-in-all, it was interesting to watch the 15 self-portrait videos, and see how different people express their lives in video-form.

http://www.web2pt0.com/#WhatIsIt @WheresItGoing

WHAT IS WEB 2.0?

To me, when I hear the term "Web 2.0" a few things come to mind: Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, YouTube, social media in general, and smart phones. All of these things virtually connect individuals around the world, allowing us to interact. We have the power to post whatever we want, whenever we want. Web 2.0 has opened the door for new relationships along with new information. However, since everyone does have the power to post whatever we want, that doesn't mean that everything on the web is right or true. We must be careful and mindful while taking advantage of this dissemination of information.

WHERE IS IT GOING?

For as long as technology is evolving, Web 2.0 will be right there adapting along with it. The way we connect and get our information is expanding and changing at a fast rate- and to be totally honest, it's changing so fast that by the time I try to even guess what's next, it'll have already happened. 

DOES IT LIVE UP TO THE HYPE?

We can take pictures on our smart phones, upload them to Facebook (in a shorter time than it even took to get everyone to smile for the picture), tag everyone in the picture, and then comment back and forth with each other about how ugly we all look. We can post our resume on LinkedIn, connect with professionals around the world and land a job interview. So does Web 2.0 live up to the hype? I think yes. The endless opportunities that the web holds for us is unfathomable. Some people might take the Internet today for granted, while others might take advantage of it... either way, there's no ignoring it or stopping it.

SOCIAL MEDIA & WEB 2.0

One of the newest and biggest things to come out of Web 2.0 is social media. In an article written in the year 2009 on Mashable.com, it shows the emergence of the once foreign term, 'social media' compared to the term Web 2.0; social media overtook the term Web 2.0 for the first time in December 2009. The article predicted that in 2010, "social media is not going to look back as it rapidly becomes a mainstream term." They were right. An article from examiner.com on August 26, 2012 (the day before the start of the 2012 Republican National Convention) looks at how social media will "take the stage" at both this year's Republican and Democratic Conventions, the same way it did at the 2012 London Summer Olympics. For the 2008 Presidential Election and the 2008 Beijing Summer Olympics, the term 'social media' or 'Twitter', although they existed, weren't even household names yet.

"The dynamics of the social media platforms along with Web 2.0 have replaced the TV. We now all live in a digital media eco-system where tablet, smartphone and laptop users are becoming more and more responsible for the increases in TV ratings and public opinion." -Gloria Buono-Daly, examiner.com

An article from the Huffington Post highlights the "death and life" of social media, ever since Facebook and Groupon stock prices have dropped recently, some media outlets have predicted the downfall of social media, but author Michael Moynihan of the Huffington post argues,

"Social media or Web 2.0, much Web 1.0 was in 2001, is if anything, only expanding."

Social media has a way of keeping people so connected but so far apart at the same time; this new phenomenon will be around for as long as people want to continue to keep in touch and share with one another.

The Gr8 Deb8

SOCIAL NETWORKING- GOOD OR BAD?
Unfortunately it isn't that black and white. I've always been pro-social media, but as I get older I can see  some of it's negative effects. Social networking isn't going anywhere, in fact it's only going to improve and advance, so any of you negative Nancy's toward social media should just accept the facts. (YES GRANDPA I'M TALKING TO YOU.)

Let's start with the bad.
I think most of social media's negative effects are on our youth.
Real life example:
Over the summer, my family rents a cottage in Fort Erie, Canada, RIGHT on the beach. It's beautiful and we have all the cousins there. One of the best parts about being there is not having cellular service or wireless Internet. A chance to unplug from the world and relax for a day or ten.
This year at the cottage, on a rainy day, my sister Megan (Age 12), had the nerve to ask me this question:
"Katie, will you drive me to the library down the street so I can check my Facebook?"
I LOST IT.
"MEGAN. DID YOU REALLY JUST ASK ME THAT?"
She's 12 and she wanted me to take her to the library, not to CHECK OUT A BOOK but to CHECK HER FACEBOOK.
It hit me that kids must not know what to do when they're bored anymore and I don't think Facebook is the right place to waste time, at such a young age.

Another example lies in the lost lives of a number of young teens who committed suicide after being cyber-bullied.
When you put a kid behind a computer, without having to be face-to-face with their victim, it gives them a confidence in getting away with saying the worst things they can think of. It's a shame that some victims of cyber-bullying were so emotionally-scarred by just typed words, that they would take their own life.

However, sometimes when kids get the right guidance and/or parental controls on the Internet, these scenarios can be prevented and we can start focusing on the POSITIVE side of social media.

Social Media connects us in an unbelievable way. We can stay in touch with friends from other countries on Facebook, we can join conversations on Twitter with our favorite companies or even celebrities. We can even post our resume, network with professionals and find jobs on the website LinkedIn. Some people have been lucky enough to earn their way in the spot light by simply posting videos of themselves singing on YouTube. (Cough, Justin Bieber, cough.) What about the people who are too busy or have a hard time getting out there and finding true love? We now have websites that find your match. I know most of my friends including myself don't read the paper, but we're kept up to date on current events by the convenience of the Internet at our fingertips.

Maybe all of this makes us lazy, or maybe it makes us 'stupid'. In my opinion, it all depends on how you use it and how much you use it. If you're smart enough to realize that talking to your friends on Facebook isn't a substitute for seeing them in real life, or if you're smart enough to realize that your child needs an off-line hobby, then you're smart enough.

A Walk Down Memory Lane

Today in class I met Victoria Church and we compared scars....

The scars that were left after getting kicked off of AOL because someone picked up the phone.

But mostly we reminisced about our early experiences with the Internet- AOL Instant Messenger, watching music videos online and the guy who says,

"You've Got Mail!" 

Victoria said, "At the time, I never really realized how big of an impact the 'Internet' would have on my life in the future, but now the Internet and my computer are everything- I use it for school, to keep in contact for business and to keep in touch with friends and family across the world."

It's true. Victoria and I are the same age, so we started using the Internet around the same time, and who would've thought that we could book a flight or video chat with our friends across the pond with the touch of a finger on a device as advanced as our iPhones??

 One thing that surprised me about Victoria was that she doesn't use Twitter!!                                               

Being Tweet-a-holic, I was taken back at first so I had to ask, WHY NOT?

She told me she doesn't care/need to know what people are doing at every minute of everyday. Understandable. BUT- I explained how, in my opinion, that's a very common misconception of Twitter.

I told her she only has to follow who/what she WANTS to follow- and it's a great source for receiving news updates on things/people/places etc. that you are interest you. I think it takes people a while to really get into the swing of Twitter, so I hope Victoria gives it a shot!